#AprilFools Day 2016 #9to5story

Here resides the entirety of the #9to5story published with twitter April 1, 2016. Tweets appeared every 5 minutes for the #AprilFools workday. Enjoy.

1. He stamped out his cigarette with contempt.
2. "I can't tell you what to do with your life," she said.
3. Silence. The two old friends looked a bit lost.
4. "Well, then..." he paused, "what can you tell me?"
5. She looked away, over his shoulder into the distance at nothing in particular.
6. "You see, this thing we call 'life' is all a big joke."
7. "Though, it's not funny at all, the joke's on us," she continued.
8. "Wait," he interrupted, "don't start with the 'all the world's s stage' crap," he waved his hand dismissively.
9. "Please stop thinking you have all the answers" She said, freezing him with a stare he knew well.
10. "OK. OK. You're right," he apologized with his eyes, "I'll listen."
11. "To continue," she paused, "the joke's on us because we take it so seriously." She shifted in her seat.
12. "Sure, there's serious shit to deal with, violence, hatred, famine, disease, you name it."
13. She fiddled idly with a napkin, "But, there's nothing that says we're compelled to be miserable about it all..."
14. "Wait," he interjected, "how, exactly, might one NOT be miserable about that stuff? Ever heard of empathy?"
15. She sighed, "You're doing it again. I'm not done." A waiter dropped off a glass of water, ice tinkled innocently.
16. "Yep, misery loves company..." he trailed off and took a sip of the cool water.
17. "That's one way to look at it. We're better off searching for the joy in it all, as difficult as that may seem."
18. "Because, it's there. Within all the pain and suffering, it's there. You know why? Because WE bring it."
19. "How do you mean, exactly?" his brow wrinkled and his head cocked to the side, like a dog.
20. The bar was busier now. He had a hard time staying focused as sweaty revelers crowded the silent spaces.
21. She noticed. "Wow, there are a lot more people here now - weird for a Wednesday afternoon."
22. "Other people like to day drink," he smirked and took a pull from his warmly held pint.
23. "Point taken. So, as I was saying, we bring the joy to the world, it's a distinctly human creation."
24. "Like the Christmas song?! Ha!" he threw up his hand in mock celebration.
25. "No. well, maybe, sure. It's up to us to forge the reality we want." she countered.
26. "It all seems so insignificant. Why bother?" he asked, taking another long pull from his beer.
27. "There's a BIG assumption! Why is it so insignificant? What makes you think bringing joy doesn't matter?" She leaned in.
28. "What if it's hugely significant, like, if Karma's real?" she leaned back again in her seat, almost visibly tired.
29. "Yeah, right," he said. "That ship has sailed. It's BS, a human construct to help us feel found...at least less lost."
30. "It guilts people into being nice because something bad might happen to them. End of story." -
31. "How do you know? And, what if we're nice and help people and Karma does not exist? So what?" she paused.
32. And continued "Haven't we made the world a better place anyway? That matters."
33. "I suppose," he snorted. "I should just be nice to everyone like my grandmother." His cynicism hung in the air.
34. "That depends, assuming she is nice," she added with a touch of her own cynicism.
35. "The reality is that elders are not always the nicest, they have there own hang-ups" she continued and then paused.
36. "Thanks for bringing the rain to my already soggy parade," he smirked.
37. "OK Reset. Let's assume we're all good people. Does that help? Making that leap in character judgment is important."
38. "Right...#1 assume people are inherently good," he pretended to write it down.
39. "Good. Good. Your mockery serves to reinforce the idea." She pushed a few cold french fries around her plate with her fork.
40. Something changed. She looked up and her eyes began to fill with tears.
41. "Whoa, what's up? What's wrong?" his concern was sincere. "What onion did we cut into?" He touched her hand.
42. She welcomed it, then pulled it away slowly but deliberately. "Don't," was all she said.
43. "Okay then," he was annoyed and pulled his hand back quickly.
44. "It's been far too long to pretend we're connected - like that," she dried her eyes and blinked a few times.
45. "Get over yourself." he flung it at her, "I've moved on." He warmed, "I just...it pains me to see you that way, as a friend."
46. "With benefits?" she laughed to shake off the chill that overtook them.
47. "Umm...no. But, whatever. Can we get back to the 'Meaning of Life?" He didn't laugh.
48. "Sure. I thought about someone I'd judged severely and then regretted. Rule #1 came a little late."
49. "A life lesson, eh? Well, you learned from it," he stated it plainly.
50. "I think so, I mean, Yes. Sometimes. I have my moments." she paused again and looked away.
51. "We forget about Karma all the time. Or, maybe we intentionally un-remember it." she continued.
52. "Sure, when we're barraged with stories of suffering, violence, loss," he paused.
53. "If that's happening to people, they must've been pretty bad to pile up Karma demerits," he said.
54. "Another reason for avoiding the news, though ignorance is not a great strategy for living."
55. "Where was I?" she shook her head. "Joy. We're on the hook to bring the Joy with a capital J."
56. "I guess I struggle with that. I always feel like whatever I'm going to do is not enough," he mused.
57. He continued, "In the face of so much 'bad', my little gestures just get lost in the cosmic background radiation."
58. "Jeez. Are we going down that path - we're all made from stardust?" she looked irritated.
59. "Well, pretty much, depending upon the creation myth you adhere to", he stated this flatly.
60. "Let's just call that an 'unresolved issue'," she made quotes in the air. "Maybe new evidence will come along."
61. "How does The Game fit into this?" his tone grew sinister.
62. She shot him a terrified look. "We're done with that! We agreed."
63. "Ok, Ok," he leaned back and smiled, "I was just testing. It's been awhile."
64. "Wait. We're off topic again," he continued and thought about lighting another cigarette.
65. "The beliefs associated with creation myths matter in this conversation," she was certain.
66. "Beliefs. Indeed. They define our reality." he nodded agreement.
67. "Exactly. Back to your Joy comment. If you believe that your actions are inconsequential, they will be," she paused.
68. "Or, you're missing opportunities to move the positive needle forward," she motioned a needle moving across a gauge.
69. "Maybe. I suppose if we all stuck to that, it'd be a pretty gloomy place," he allowed that to sink in.
70. "Right," she smiled. "I bet you remember a small gesture that meant a great deal to you."
71. "Ya know, that happened recently," he pointed at her, "a stranger bought me a cup of coffee, just because."
72. "That's all it takes," she folded her arms triumphantly and sat back, sinking a bit into the old booth cushion.
73. "But, I analyzed the hell out of it and concluded the guy was trying to make up for something," his brow furrowed.
74. "So what if he was? Balancing the yin and yang. It still matters," she was admonishing him now.
75. "And," he emphasized, "if it's a punishment for something, then what?" he was serious.
76. "What, like 'community service', right? Still matters, again my point, whether court ordered or not," she paused.
77. "OK, I'll take that. It's another way to think about it," he allowed.
78.  "I've found that looking at things as if I were a child is helpful - NOT looking for motives," she stopped.
79. "What? That came out of nowhere," he lit that cigarette he'd been thinking about.
80. "Well, they're pretty much innocent and don't have much baggage," she waved away his second-hand smoke.
81. "Well said," he took a lazy drag.
82. "Notice I said 'much' not 'any'? They have some from previous lives," she surprised him.
83. "Good one," he smiled, "Or, Original Sin - going back to the creation myths," the smoke annoyed him too.
84. "I guess you must think life's fleeting if you're still smoking those things," she was visibly angry.
85. "Tell me about it. I guess quitting matters more to those around me than to me," his eyes half-closed.
86. "And, as we've concluded, that matters," she lectured now.
87. "My health is important to those around me," he recited with feigned seriousness, like a 5th grader.
88. "Right you are!", she slapped the table, returning his mock enthusiasm.
89. "But, you know, I'm kinda tired of the bullshit," he took another drag - purely out of spite.
90. "Really? You're so good at it," she said.
91. "That's my point. I'm tired of playing the game that it's all OK," he was getting upset again.
92. "What do you mean?" She sensed something had changed, something unsettling.
93. "There's too much smiling and nodding, not having the hard conversations about what we need to fix," he continued.
94. "Well, are you willing to be the one that raises the discomfort topics?" she asked with a tone of derision.
95. "About The Game? Yeah right. You know that's not something that anybody's ready for," his tone turned sinister again.
96. "No!" she hissed and looked about furtively, "That's NOT what we're talking about. We agreed!"
97. He looked back at her, paused, raised an eyebrow, and before she could reach him,
98. his thumb found the button in his jacket pocket and pushed it.
99. Her face went white as the bar started to blur, edges turning fuzzy, sounds were muffled, then she lost contact.