Our oldest child started kindergarten today, about 90 minutes ago.
I've been particularly moody and anxious the past few days...seemingly unprovoked. Now I know why. In a conversation today I mentioned that being a parent has made me vulnerable in a way that I'm not sure I've come to terms with. Maybe it's coming home to roost, whether I like it or not.
This is a pretty big transition, maybe bigger for me than it is for him. But, do I really know? Heck, he's 5 right? I can ask him. I'm guessing he'll respond with a little smile and a nuzzle of his lovey called "Puppy", with a casual mention of the people he met at school.
I suppose it's another step in the process of "growing up", whatever that means. Spending structured time with peers in the community's care. Heck, he's been in daycare since he was 3 months old. I still remember my lunchtime daycare check-ins (I was lucky to be able to do that). He'd usually be sleeping, and be fine, great even.
So, I'm thinking these feelings are a reflection of my insecurities with the great big world he's going out in.
Really, though, considering the violence suffered by children the world over, what am I concerned about? Could bad things happen here? Yep. Will worrying about them prevent them?
Not so much.