Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Buyer's Remorse

What am I getting myself into? With much gnashing-of-teeth, shrugging, hand-wringing, eye-rolling, wailing, sobbing, watery-eyed mumbling, and exasperated two-way pleading, I may be closer to proceeding.

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur re: grad school. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and have the decision all figured out in my head. The problem with that is simple, no one else has any idea what I am thinking, especially my wife. Generally, I would like to assume that everyone thinks the way I do, and would somehow understand the what and why of my thinking without me saying a word. Of course, that's not the case. Considering that a decision to go back to school, to an institution that is new and relatively unknown, affects my wife as much as it affects me, how could I wait so long to talk about it? Simple, I was afraid the answer would be "no". What? You mean there are practical elements to consider when contemplating monthly sojourns across the country to learn about sustainable business in the "wilderness" of Bainbridge Island?

It's bad enough that I have enough self-defeating worries, doubts, and anxieties welling up internally. Do I need any more? Maybe not, but others might. Here are a few gems (how 'bout second thoughts):
  • What's the future value of the degree? (is BGI too "out of the mainstream" (that's the point, correct)?
  • Assuming the main biz schools start adopting more sustainable educational methods, will BGI be part of that or be overlooked and passed by?
  • Quality of the education; who are these people and what are they teaching me?
  • Is spending $60k really what I need to do (no one can answer this but me)?
  • Would I be better served waiting and pursuing a degree elsewhere (I am sick of waiting!)?
  • Will I get stuck in an endless circle of kumbaya (this is a 1/2 joke)?
  • What is I turn out to be an idiot and can't hack it?
Some of these questions have no answer, or can only be answered by yours truly. Some of them have been addressed with conversations with current and former students, people familiar with the institution, and others with a general MBA background. Given the youth of the program, there's an element of experimentation for me and for the university. I am investing in a start-up venture that is providing me with an educational experience that I believe will add value to my life. Symbiosis anyone?

I suppose there is no "right" answer that will descend from the heavens (choose your own religion) and crash into me like some half-crazed nymph recently released from Pan's Labyrinth. It's my choice, made along with the support of the people that matter to me and that's that. I suppose I should take a flyer...and maybe it'll stick.

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